It's a man's world.

Why is it that female escorts are portrayed as helpless, strung out, drug-addicted, human trafficking victims who most certainly were molested and abused in the past, while male escorts are portrayed as cool, suave heroes, like in the new HBO show, Hung? The answer is simple. It's because it's a man's world. Balderdash!

My Birthday Wish List

I am blatantly cruising for birthday gifts from my favorite adult novelty store in Chicago. LOL.

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=PEARL&Category_Code=SJV

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=CRUISER&Category_Code=BSV

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=HOTROD&Category_Code=SJV

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=LAYLA&Category_Code=HASV

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=INSG&Category_Code=TANV

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=IDEAL&Category_Code=PLUGIN

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=DEVILINMSS&Category_Code=CP

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=GOODFELLA&Category_Code=SD

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=NJOYPLUG&Category_Code=PSPOT

http://www.early2bed.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=ANEROS&Category_Code=PSPOT

If you'd rather give me shoes, I'll take a pair of any of the following in size 10.

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0001096.html

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0001097.html

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0000600.html

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0000599.html (pink)

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0001100.html

http://www.mayashoes.com/i0000727.html (white)

I really want this chrome butt plug, too.

http://stores.chutestore.com/Detail.bok?no=57

Wise Words

Love the earth and sun and animals,
Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
Stand up for the stupid and crazy,
Devote your income and labor to others...
And your very flesh shall be a great poem.
-- Walt Whitman

National Masturbation Month & Fat Pussies

May is National Masturbation Month.

The celebration reaches its climax on May 28, which is National Masturbation Day.

According to statistics, 94% of males and 70% of females claim that they masturbate. These stats seem a little low for both genders to me, but what do I know?

I've decided to take things into my own hands (hell ya, pun intended) and do my damnedest to celebrate the month to its fullest.

March 2, 2009

Chatsworth, Calif. - Topco Sales introduces April Flores' Voluptuous CyberSkin Pussy, exclusive to the Wildfire Celebrity Series.

The piece, which weighs in at almost 8 pounds, gives fans of BBW a new way to live out their fantasies.

"Topco Sales outdid themselves with my coochie," Flores said. "She is an exact replica of me - big, bold and beautiful."

Molded directly from the star, the piece realistically replicates April's fleshy folds and soft, ample thighs. It is the first BBW piece in the company's Wildfire Celebrity Series. It is waterproof, phthalate-free, and made in the U.S.

"April Flores is the first plus-sized star to have her body made available to the consumer by Topco Sales," said Desiree Duffie, director of marketing and public relations for Topco Sales. "We are thrilled that she has chosen to work exclusively with us to bring her toys to BBW fans."

April Flores has starred in numerous films and has been featured in countless magazines. Voted one of Fleshbot's Crush Objects of 2006, she has a massive and rabid following within the BBW fan community.

Who would you rather bang?

I am not surprised by Ann Coulter's rant about Meghan McCain's weight. Listen, Ann, lots of men enjoy a woman with a little meat on their bones. If you consider Meghan fat, you need to have your head examined. She is gorgeous. You are not. You haven't even seen better days. You've always been a dried up, bitter douche. If you clear the cobwebs from your rancid meat pie, perhaps someone will give you the O you so desperately need.

I am not surprised, because, once again, Ann baby demonstrates her intelligence. She can't even come up with a legitimate criticism of Meghan, so she resorts to a weight slam. How very third grade of her. I can hear her now, "Fatty, fatty two by four, can't get through the kitchen door..." Yes, Ann, you're brilliant, just like a bright, shiny turd.

SEX WORKERS OUTREACH PROJECT BENEFIT

ASIAN OBSESSION

It's times like this that I wish I had a cock. I would jizz all over her sweet little face.

AT THE MOVIES

He's sitting next to me. We are silent. Our eyes are fixed on the screen. I can smell him. Testosterone fills the air. He's not concentrating on the movie. He's distracted by my tits and memories of past encounters between his dick and I. I can smell him. The stale air is thick with old popcorn and desire. I can smell him. There's lust and filth filtering through my nostrils. He's jonesing. He wants it. He thinks I might be watching the film. He's being polite. He's not coming on to me. I might be enthralled with the formulaic blather sputtering through the speaker or the mundane scenes flickering from the projector, so he leaves me alone.

I decide to take him.

I throw myself against him. My hand is undoing his belt. I'm unbuttoning his pants before he can protest. He's unzipped before he can utter a word. He can't talk now. My lips are pressed against his. My tongue is worming its way into his mouth. My tongue grabs his and they wrestle. My hand is fiddling with his penis, freeing it from his pants.

I know what he needs, a good build up. I'll bring him close and take him back. I'll tease his cock until he begs for release.

I look into his eyes. I don't let him look away. I never look down. My hand has eyes. My hand is on automatic. I'm in his head. I know what it wants. I know how to work it. My mouth never leaves his. I kiss him passionately. His kisses plead his case. I ignore his appeal. I play his dick like a fiddle, back and forth, up and down. The rhythm of my hand. The beat of his moans. The symphony of our heat. He's close. He wants it. I know when to back off, when to press on. It's unfair. It's torture. It's sublime.

My cunt is dripping with longing. I'm craving it, but I want it to be controlled, specific. He's gonna cum when I decide the time is right. I'm in control. He wants it to conclude. He wants it to continue. We're craving release. I remove my mouth from his lips. I stare more deeply into his wanton eyes. I smile lasciviously. His eyes petition me for mercy. I stroke harder and faster in a corkscrew fashion. I'm pulling out his seed. I slow down. My touch is softer. I avoid the head. I squeeze out the last of his spirit. His eyes close. His breath slows. The moans subside. My cunt drips between my thighs.

No napkins or tissues. I lean over and lap up his cum. No need for napkins or tissues. The taste has me feverish. I grab his hand and suck his fingers. I push them under my skirt and into my twat. I pull his fingers out and stick them back in my mouth. My juices taste like sex. I smell sex. Cunt. I reach down and stroke my clit. I rub myself while I lick the last of my sex off his fingers. I cum. I squirt. No napkins or tissues. It'll have to soak into the seat in front of me. No need for napkins or tissues.

We're done. The movie is over. He pulls the car out of the noisy parking garage. He's hoping for road head. He'll get it. No need for napkins or tissues.